The Hardest Thing
by Ein Auftragskiller
Summary: It's the hardest thing Sakuragi Hanamichi, the basketball tensai, has to do : breaking-up with Rukawa. What would happen? Surprise and unlikely twist at the ending. AS IN! Read to find out! Review too. HANARU. One-shot


98 Degrees  
  
The Hardest Thing  
  
Disclaimer : I don't usually put this thing. Basically 'coz you people already knows what it usually contains. But what if they really are mine? What if they really are not Inoue Takehiko's? I wouldn't be sued anyways 'coz they wouldn't find out who I really am.  
  
Note : Words inside parentheses ( ) are thoughts. Words inside asterisks * * are the lyrics of the song.  
  
*We both know that I shouldn't be here  
  
This is wrong  
  
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you  
  
Both of us tryin' to be strong*  
  
Sakuragi couldn't believe he had just said the words. They couldn't continue seeing each other anymore. He watched Rukawa's reaction. He was taking it quite fine; he was just looking down and slightly nodding his head. He wore his usual cold mask, though one might sense there was something different. His eyes had a different look. Hanamichi doesn't know if he would feel relieved because it seems Rukawa wasn't hurt much or he would be disappointed. He expected to see him in more pain. Wait, he wasn't sure if it was pain he could see, rather he does not want to be sure. He wouldn't be able to take it any longer if he's sure. But he couldn't fool himself, he really couldn't take it.  
  
*I've got somewhere else to be  
  
Promises to keep  
  
Someone else who loves me  
  
And trusts me fast asleep*  
  
"I must go now," he declared with his back turned.  
  
"I understand," Rukawa tried to hide the trembling of his voice; he hoped he did a great job.  
  
*I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that*  
  
(No you don't understand) Hanamichi couldn't voice out his thoughts.  
  
"Haruko-san, she's-" he tried to explain. He couldn't resist facing him again.  
  
"Yes, that Akagi, you love her more than me, is that it?" Rukawa choked out.  
  
*It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye  
  
And tell you I don't love you*  
  
"Y-yes," Hanamichi stammered.  
  
"D-did you ever really love me, Hanamichi?" Rukawa shut his eyes to hide the tears threatening to fall.He used to like the feel of that name on his lips, I mean he still did, but mentioning every syllable seemed to suffocate him more until he wondered where his body got its supply of oxygen. He held his breath in anticipation.  
  
"No," the dreaded answer of the redhead.  
  
*It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion  
  
When you start to cry*  
  
Rukawa couldn't stop his tears anymore. Even through his tightly closed eyes, the moisture managed to leak out.  
  
"I'm sorry," Hanamichi turned his back again. The sight was breaking him. His kitsune letting down his guard, wearing off his mask, letting him see his weakness.  
  
*I can't let you see  
  
What you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be*  
  
Hanamichi himself couldn't help but cry. Even though a tensai isn't supposed to cry, he let himself because it was a special case. Special because the person he's crying for is more than special. Why did Rukawa have to come when it was already too late? He already had Haruko, the one he has been dreaming for since he stepped into Senior High. She's the one who stopped his seemingly endless streak of getting dumped. Why didn't he just resist temptation, he still accepted his Kaede! Well not his anymore, as of that moment.  
  
*It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away  
  
Pretending I don't love you*  
  
Hanamichi took a step, away from the once his Kaede. It added pressure to the breaking of Rukawa's heart, but what he didn't know, the action hurt Sakuragi more.  
  
* know that we'll meet again  
  
Fate has a place  
  
So you can get on with your life  
  
I've got to be cruel to be kind*  
  
(Why does he look so damned hurt?!?!) Hanamichi felt his feet getting stuck to the floor. It never felt that heavy, it seems he wouldn't be able to walk another step in his life.  
  
(I'm supposed to be doing this to lessen the pain he would feel. We couldn't go on forever anyway, so better cut it short now. But why do I feel that I've hurt him more that what I've imagined I could ever hurt him?) he didn't notice his shoulders were already shaking from the impact of the sudden break-out of his tears.  
  
*Like Dr. Zhivago  
  
All my love I'll be sending  
  
And you will never know  
  
'Cause there can be no happy ending*  
  
Rukawa opened his eyes and stopped crying for a while. It's because he could hear Hanamichi sobbing. Maybe he does love him too. Maybe he just has other reasons. It was hurting him as much. They are both feeling the intense pain. He could feel Hanamichi's love for him, no matter how much he tries to hide it.  
  
*Maybe another time, another day  
  
As much as I want to, I can't stay  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that*  
  
(There could be no other time!) Rukawa couldn't resist hugging his Hana-kun from his back, "Hanamichi."  
  
*It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye  
  
And tell you I don't love you*  
  
Hanamichi was surprised when he suddenly felt Rukawa's arm around him. The grip was as strong as steel. Feeling weak, he couldn't get out of his embrace. It just made him sob more.  
  
*It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion  
  
When you start to cry*  
  
"Shh." Rukawa whispered in his ear, trying to pacify him. He burrowed his head on his lover's neck and kissed it softly.  
  
Hanamichi squeezed his eyes tighter because of the sensation he felt. But no, it's just not right!  
  
*I can't let you see  
  
What you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be*  
  
"Kaede.no." Hanamichi almost pleaded.but to no avail. It seemed to encourage Rukawa more.  
  
"I said no!" he gathered all his strength to break out from his hug.  
  
*It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away  
  
Pretending I don't love you*  
  
Hanamichi thought he had already used up all his strength but he still managed to run away.  
  
Rukawa with heavy breaths, watched as the blotch of red slowly disappeared from his sight. He felt his knees weaken and gave way. He lifted his chin above his head, supposed to look at the oddly clear blue sky but with his eyes shut, all he saw was darkness, matching what he was feeling that moment. He was all alone kneeling in the middle of a seemingly boundless grassland.  
  
* * *  
  
CUT!!!  
  
The director yelled with all his might. The audience in turn, clapped with all they got for the superb show they have just watched. Rukawa was really a good actor, sometimes even better than Sakuragi. (Sakuragi is the best!!!) Some even shouted their praises.  
  
But our red-haired hero noticed his co-actor hasn't move yet. He gently approached him and nudged him slightly.  
  
"Oi kitsune," he noticed tears were still streaming out from his closed eyes, "the shooting's over! Hello?"  
  
"Do'aho," he suddenly stared at him and weakly smiled.  
  
"Nani? Te'me kitsune! How dare you call the tensai that!?! Don't you know that I'm the best actor ever? I had even made all our audience believe that I really am stupid. How disgraceful. Anyways, I really have to admit you were good today. In fact, you still haven't stopped crying," he laughed while pointing at him.  
  
"Hn." Rukawa swiftly wiped the dampness in his cheeks.  
  
"I think our scene really got into you, didn't it?" he gave a scrutinizing look. Rukawa glared back.  
  
"Aww.so I guess I have to make it up to you?" Hanamichi wrapped an arm around his koi.  
  
"Hmph," he crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
  
"Is that a no?" Hana smiled menacingly.  
  
"Do you want me to kill you?"  
  
"Haha, depends on how you define 'kill'. In bed perhaps?"  
  
Rukawa blushed, "Kidding aside, you're just acting right? Work doesn't get into you neh?"  
  
"Geesh, can't believe Rukawa Kaede could be insecure. As much as I want to answer your question, I believe you should know the answer by now.  
  
Rukawa studied Hanamichi's features then smiled, "Good. I couldn't and wouldn't ever break-up with you too, Hana-kun. I love you that much."  
  
Owari  
  
* * *  
  
Sorry 'bout that. I just don't have nothing to do (double negative right? But slang Americans use this) I just took a college entrance test this afternoon and I did this as soon as I got home. 1 hr and 25 minutes is how long I took. If that's still too long for you, well I'm sorry. I'm not a tensai like Hana-chan. If you think this sucks, well I'm more sorry 'coz I was just trying to get my sanity back. And sorry 'coz I haven't edited this yet. One more thing, I'm sorry for the lame ending, I just couldn't take a HanaRu ending in a tragic way. First because I love them. Second, because I hate Haruko.  
  
Was Rukawa out of character? You know it's hard to make anything happen between those two archenemies if you wouldn't alter their characters a bit. Anyways, who cares? I wrote this and you're just reading it. Do your own if you think you can do better. Demmit.I really am not in the mood today. 


End file.
